Well... ya tried to crack a cold one with the boys, and instead ya cracked your fingers off. You go to the hospital; and they charge your broke ass $500.01 for a doc to scold you and slap a clunky, itchy, block of poopoo on you snapped off fingers. What are going to do fellow customer?!?!?
Well we have a product for YOU! Here at FFFTech, our vacuous engineers bust their fingers every hour, on the hour! Once enough court settlements fell through, we knew enough was enough.
Introducing the Moldable Finger Splint! This patent pending miracle of materials prints flat, and in seconds shapes to you fingers for instant.... holding! This godlike machinery not only hold your shattered fingers together; it's BREATHABLE for MAXIMUM NOT SWEATYNESS! (The grammar is spot on right here...)
Simply set it in hot water and wait for the PLA to get soft, wrap it around the decimated digit, and place both the formed splint and said finger in cold water for an instant set! Within seconds you'll be magically healed, get that promotion, and your wife will stop cheating on you! This product does it ALL!
So what are you waiting for you crippled pile of rubbish? Print a splint today ya ding dong!
(This is designed for Index, Mid, and Ring Fingers)